My Cup Runneth Over

Preparing to expand the family!

I keep saying I will update the blog and then I get caught up with life and school and kids and slapping pics and updates up on facebook and suddenly a month or two have gone by. And I think it's a leftover scrapbooking mentality that makes me want to go back and start putting up posts in chronological order from my last post and not leave anything out. But, that makes me feel overwhelmed so I just end up not blogging at all.

So, I'm just jumping in with a photo from earlier this fall. One we snapped on our way out the door to church (with the help of a tripod and timer!) We needed a recent family photo to send in with our application to our adoption agency in Florida. We have officially started the adoption process with Embraced By Grace, a wonderful agency we feel the Lord led us to as we researched and prayed over the summer. We were able to raise enough money to start our home study at our yard sale. We have continued to sell various items and curriculum along with some donations and we have now completed our home study paperwork, visits, background checks, fingerprinting and all that good stuff through Colorado Adoption Center. They have been wonderful. We thoroughly enjoyed getting to know our new social worker. We imagine that she will be a great resource over the coming years.  Even though we've completed two home studies (and an update or two during our last long adoption!) over the past several years - I still find it very interesting to answer all of these various questions. Questions about our family history, our parenting style, our reasons for adopting and so many more. It causes us to explore our answers, pray about them, really know why we are doing this.

We made it through the various approval steps with Embraced By Grace. Because we are an out-of-state family we attended the orientation via a webinar - early on a Saturday from the comfort of our living room. :) It was so delightful to listen to them share what Embraced By Grace is all about - where their heart is and their hope for the future. As Trevor and I have moved forward with this adoption we feel as though God is not only growing our family and giving a baby a forever family, but also continuing to prepare us for something bigger. We don't know what that is - but our longings in the area of adoption, orphan care, the abortion issue and the hearts of birth moms were echoed in what we heard during the orientation. Our pastor has talked to us about the idea of starting some kind of ministry at our church that will come along side families who are interested in pursuing adoption, but are overwhelmed with the process and the financial aspects of it. So, perhaps that is where God is heading us. Or maybe becoming more involved with His Little Feet. Or mission trips, or even just continuing to be open as people all around us see our family and feel comfortable asking us questions about adoption. We love to share our story, answer questions and encourage others. God has given us the opportunity to do this several times over the years - in person, through emails and phone calls.  We can see how experiencing international and soon a domestic adoption will put us in a position to share even more. Whatever God has for us - we are excited and amazed and grateful!

The past few weeks we havce worked on putting together our Family Profile - which consists of a letter to our potential birth mom along with several pages of pictures and bits of information about us a snapshot of what our family is all about. So, a pregnant mom comes into the agency and is interested in making an adoption plan...if she looks like she might be a good match for our family - EBG will let her look at our family profile - possibly along with some others.  If she is interested in our family, then we'll have an interview with her if she chooses to "meet" us via Skype. If we all feel like it's a good match and she selects us then we figure out all of the details of open (phone calls, visits, etc.), closed or semi-open (sending letters and pictures) adoption. We pray, pray and pray some more for her, for the baby, for the rest of the process. And if God opens up this door - we travel to pick up our new baby when he or she is born and the birth mom has signed the paperwork. It is very surreal to think about becoming parents again. To think of having a newborn in our arms. To think of traveling across the country (instead of around the globe!) to welcome this precious one into our family.

One of the things we love about EBG is that our birth mom will hear the gospel presented at least once if not two or three times! They will develop a relationship with her, help meet her needs or connect her with people who can. We love that. We have been praying for her for months already and are very open and eager to be a blessing in her life if she chooses an open or semi-open adoption. And if she chooses closed we trust that God will still be working in her heart - just as we ask Him to do with our girls' birth parents in China. We will probably never know them and yet our hearts ache to share updates with them. To show them pictures of their beautiful daughters. We long to tell them how amazing and smart and funny they are. We wish we could assure them that they are safe and loved. We can't - but we pray for them and hope that we might meet them in heaven some day. So, the thought of being able to share this information with our little one's birth mom and possibly birth dad is incredible.

As we will soon be in the part of the process where we wait to be matched with a birth mom - we will continue praying for our baby, for his/her birth parents. Attempt to be prepared for this adoption. We will read and talk to people about what it will be like to adopt an African American child and what it will be like for our child to grow up in our family, in our community. We will prepare as best as we can for that experience and attempt to be armed with resources, friends and most importantly with the Lord and His wisdom. With each of our children we have tried to walk with them, prepare them for life as adults. We give them life skills, education and Jesus! We want to find the balance of helping each child through the hard times, the grieving, the questions and doing what we can (or hooking them up with people who can help) with helping them to see that their true identity can be found in Jesus. He has a plan for their lives. He knew their names before the foundations of the world were created. He knew they would be placed in our family and He loves them more then they will ever know. This is true for our birth kids, our girls from China and our next little one who will probably be from Florida or somewhere in the south.

It is such an interesting position to be in. For years we viewed domestic adoption as a competitive, awkward, scary way of growing a family. We would never want to feel like we are competing with another couple over a baby. We have obviously been blessed with children and while we are excited to grow our family, we want to be adopting where there is a need. The statistics reveal that the majority of couples adopting in the US are seeking a white baby (very often a girl), or perhaps they are open to a Hispanic or  Asian child. A few are open to half African American. But, very few seem to be open to full African American babies. We are not only open to that possibility we are eager and anxious to adopt an African American baby! There is such a need for families who are open to full AA - to adopt that some agencies offer a discounted program. So, while we know this part of waiting for a birth mom to choose us will be interesting, possibly trying and filled with emotion. We also trust that God has led us down this path and we know He will work out the details. Unless God blesses us with an unusual amount of money while we are waiting - we will need to be matched with a birthmom who has no medical or living expenses. Just another area to trust Him! We also trust His perfect timing - but we pray and hope that this adoption happens in the next few months rather then years!

Again for those that might have read to the end of this long post - we'd appreciate prayer. Prayer for our birth mom - for the courage to choose life, for wisdom, for physical, emotional and spiritual protection. Prayer for our little one - protection and peace and health. And prayer for our family to be prepared for this adoption. Prayer for continued financial provision. We will need $1,000 when we are matched with a birth mom. And we will need money to travel. Our agency has a plan that helps families with a large portion of the rest of the adoption fees called the Tabitha Fund - which works with the current tax credit. But, these other fees will need to be paid by us and the money isn't there yet! Thanks for reading, for praying and supporting us!

The Cost of Adoption

I do intend to do some catching up on the blog here in the coming weeks...really! But, in the meantime thought I'd share a GREAT blog post about the cost of adoption. For those that are curious and I know we were when we first began to move past the praying-about-it stage into the serious-research stage - seven years ago this month! WOW! Can't believe it's been seven years already.

And as a side note - we also firmly believe that doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called. So if you feel a tugging at your heart in the area of adoption - pray, pray and pray some more. Ask your spouse to pray with you until God gives you both the same answer. With our first, we thought about it and decided if we and others felt alright about taking out a loan for a house, a car or some home improvements...why not an adoption trip?! So, we did and were able to take our 2 boys with us to China the first time. Yeah...we paid on that for a long while and yeah...I wish we would have figured out (or perhaps waited on the Lord!) for another way. But, I am so very glad they went along and gladly make those payments. :)

For Ren's adoption God gave us gifts - large gifts anonymously in the mail. We also received gifts from family and friends and we applied for and received a LARGE grant for our adoption. Sometimes God calls us to adopt and other times He calls us to help others through the process. God provided every penny of the fees and travel for her adoption. Talk about a faith builder! With this adoption God has used our dependency upon Him to confirm His plans to grow our family in this way and remind us that not only will He supply all of our needs financially - but in regards to energy, patience, wisdom and sanity! (Phil 4:19)

We have noticed that each step we take...He provides. We have prayed and prayed and prayed about this and are thrilled to be on a new and exciting adoption journey! We have worked hard at having a huge yard sale which was a kick-off for fundraising. We've sold necklaces and continued to sell items around our house and those that others have donated. We've sold lots of curriculum - and all has gone into our adoption fund. We are working on our budget and saving where we can. And, once again, God has used friends and family to bless us with financial donations. And here we are...home study is almost complete (and paid for!) and we are about to send in our application to our placing agency. One of the HUGE benefits we have going for us (and anyone who is interested in adoption right now) is a $13,000 adoption tax refund. Used to be that we could collect - over a period of 5 years the amount of adoption fees that we had paid...all according to how much we had paid in-for taxes. But, at least for this year and next year - it isn't about how much we pay in - it is a tax refund of just over $13,000 to pay back adoption fees regardless of how much we've paid into taxes. That is HUGE! It's the one and only thing we feel that Obama has done to actually help us out!

So...don't let the cost of adoption discourage you...pray about it - research grants and adoption loans. And see what God will do! He designed adoption! (Eph 1:5) He values life. (Ps. 139:13) He longs to set the lonely in families. (Ps. 68:6)

I love my family

Nope - not perfect. But, I love each one of them so much it hurts sometimes! How did I come to be so blessed by these 5 people? God's grace and prayer...lots and lots and lots of prayer. My folks began praying for my spouse years before I met Trevor. He wasn't quite what they pictured when I first brought him home with earrings and an attitude! But, they love him and are so grateful for him now. I couldn't ask for a better husband and daddy to our kids. Iron sharpens iron and Trevor and I give each other plenty to pray about and allow God to continue working on us and our marriage - but we love each other deeply and are best friends.

My kids...well - I go on and on about them here on the blog, on facebook and to anyone who will listen! They are, each one, a gift. I have always been a fairly  happy person - enjoying childhood years, teenage years. I was thrilled to get married and become Trevor's help meet. But, my joy was multiplied exponentially when Chase was born...I expected to enjoy being a mom - but wasn't prepared for the deep, incredible joy (and in turn all the other emotions that run just as deep in parenting). As each child has been birthed or adopted into our family I truly feel that my cup runneth over. Yes - we are busy, we are loud, we are at times stressed, grumpy, frustrated and impatient with one another. But, most often our joy runs over. Can't wait to have 6 people to love!

Family update

I have been SOOO bad about keeping up my blog. Trevor continues to give me a hard time about it. I know it's because facebook is such a quick and easy way to stay in touch with people and post pics. But, it's not at all the journal that a blog can be. So - I will once again attempt to catch up here on the blog in the coming few weeks.

Usually I go back and start where I left off. But, with such exciting news it's too hard to wait on this. 

Knowing we are no where near "done" parenting - ever. We have officially raised our first child from birth through graduation. And most definitely NOT without the Lord's help! What a journey, what a blessing Chase has been. He is currently looking for a summer job (wow even the teens are having a hard time finding work - it's crazy) and has plans (if accepted) to attend Ellerslie training this fall. Then, at this point, he is considering pursuing something in the editing/publishing field. He is passionate reader - so that would be an excellent fit. But, he is open to whatever God has for him. He may head to Aims after Ellerslie to get some general classes out of the way and see where God leads him after that. We are proud of him and super excited to see how God moves in his life.

Hunter following behind him by two years is right in that super-fun teenage time of life. He's about to get his driver's permit and will start his junior year in a few months. He's working part-time at a computer repair shop and while the summer hours are a bit slow - he is thankful for the experience he's getting and even a little extra money right now. He found out today that he was accepted into Lost Marbles Theatrics - a theater group for homeschooled high schoolers. He will attend classes this fall and then take part in a play (either acting or behind the scenes) in the spring. This is a new direction for him. We have watched their past few plays and the group does a great job. He is looking forward to learning some drama skills as well as spending time with current friends and making some new friends.

Eloise is a very chatty, gapped toothed (she finally lost her first two teeth a few weeks ago!) super busy 6 year old. She rarely slows down. She also rarely stops talking! Loe is a natural born learner and organizer. She begs to do more school (dream student!) and loves to organize toys, cabinets - whatever I'll let her! She can be a bit on the bossy side - so we have to keep an eye on the attitude. She loves being a big sister - most of the time. She is mostly patient and has all kinds of fun playing with Ren and teaching her new things. But, we have seen a whole new side to her when she loses her temper or just gets tired of the little sister antics. :) She is finished with 1st grade and excited to move into 2nd grade. 

Ren is 2 and brings out strong emotions in all of us. She is a huge joy and can be a BIG stinker! Whatever mood she is in - she is all there! If she's feeling whiny - oh my word. If she's ornery - watch out. But, if she's ready to play and have fun experiencing new things - what a blast she is. She makes us laugh a lot. She likes to experience life to it's fullest. We love her to pieces and I wouldn't change a thing about her (well - maybe that whole struggle she has with first-time obedience!) But...it's good to have people in your life that keep you on your knees in prayer - right?!

Trevor is busy with work, enjoying playing softball with old friends and still has fun cooking up new recipes and yummy old ones for us. This summer he is working with the boys to teach them some basic cooking skills and how to spice up a meal. (Their wives will LOVE him for that!) With the changes in the government - there is a chance we may be out of work in the coming months (thank-you Obama!). We are praying about that and seeking God's plan for the future. Trusting it's all in His hands.

We are pretty much finished with our school year - finishing a few books and things. And still working on a few things over the summer break. We always attempt to start school up in August so we can take some more time off through out the year. This week is our annual state homeschooling conference. We attend every year. It is a HUGE boost of encouragement, advice and support for our homeschool and our family. We always look forward to going. When the boys turned 13 - they began attending with us. Even though Chase has graduated - we're still going together just to spend the time with them, learning and growing. And there are always plenty of books to browse! Many of the workshops focus on way more then just homeschooling. The girls are looking forward to time with Grandma and Grandpa. Then Saturday we'll hook up with some travel group families at our adoption agency's annual picnic. We're finishing that day off at the Rockie's game.

So...with all of this busyness - what we need is another baby - right?! We are thinking...yes! We are ready and willing to go through the 'door' of another adoption if God opens it for us! So many reasons are involved in coming to this place. The main one being open to another amazing blessing - another baby to love, child to raise and teenager to enjoy. A little over 16 years ago our friends adopted a super cute African-American baby boy who was the same age as Hunter - exactly the same! They shared their birthday! Then a few years later they adopted a baby girl. I was blessed to babysit those kiddos and get to know them. Fast-forward several years and they touched my heart. About a year into our waiting period for Ren's referral (her adoption was a 3 year process) - I felt like God gave me a vision for our family - one with a precious little one who had beautiful dark skin. We even explored shifting that adoption from China to Africa or to a domestic adoption here in the US. But, we had been given a large grant and it was specific to a Chinese adoption. We knew that was God's confirmation that we needed to bring a child home from China - our child! He knew her name before the foundations of the world and He knew she would be placed in our family! So, we waited 2 more years and she came home. The vision I had faded off and on - but never went away completely. Ren was super challenging between 1 and 2 years of age and I remember thinking we would be crazy to add another child in. But...as she continued to grow after 2 (she's still quite the stinker!)  it suddenly seems not so crazy to think about adding a little one into our family.

We are currently exploring a domestic adoption of an African-American baby. (We're all thinking baby boy this time and I'm already working on Trevor - with bold hints about maybe adopting a little boys from Africa in a few years!! But...one thing at a time!) Like many families who feel open to adoption - we feel confident that we have plenty of room in our home and love in our hearts for a baby. But, the fees for an adoption can be overwhelming. Sadly, African-American babies and children are often the hardest to place. So, while this idea of a new baby feels selfish and exciting to us. We also know that God cares for orphans; for children who need families. We know it breaks His heart that millions of babies have been murdered by abortion in our country alone and we would like to offer our family as a realistic option for a birth mom who explores the possibility of choosing life for her baby. There are some grants we can apply for that might be able to help with some of the fees. But, most of those foundations want us to have our home study complete before we apply. So, we are planning to have a big garage/bake sale in July to help raise money for our home study. God has already started blessing us with donations for the sale! He is SOOO amazing!

Would welcome prayer for our family as we embark on this journey. Please pray for God to open doors financially and give us wisdom regarding homestudy agencies, adoption agencies and the timing of all of this. The total cost is estimated at between $15,000-$20,000 for the adoption. God proved Himself faithful and incredible in how He blessed us and provided for Ren's adoption fees. We know He will do that again if He wants us heading down this path.

In the meantime we will pray for our next little one, his birth parents, and all the millions of orphans here and around the world. We pray for the murder of innocent babies to end. We pray for more and more families to be open to being a part of the miracle of adoption - whether that is becoming adoptive families themselves or by supporting others who are adopting. We also plan to continue enjoying the blessings that have been given to us and focus on raising them in the training and admonition of the Lord. Our God is so BIG, so strong and so mighty - there's nothing our God can not do!  (Just saw that song posted on fb and was reminded how much I LOVE it!)

More picture posts (with lots less talking) to come soon.

Hope your summer is off to a fabulous start!

Home School

This is my favorite part of homeschooling...snuggling on the couch reading a great Sonlight book to the kid (or kids!) This right here makes the hard times worth it and the memories we build and the stories the kids hear...priceless.

Now...some in the family would say one of the advantages to homeschooling is the free time it gives them to read their own books and play video games. :) This is what recess looks like at our house!

 

Impromptu field trip to our neighbor's house when the fire truck came through! SO cool!

Government...Teenpact (it's educational and FUN)

P.E. and bible in the same classes.

Literature

Mid-morning snack (lots more fun in a tea cup!)

 

Ready for CHESS (optional enrichment academy classes that meet one day a week)

More field trips...science!

    

Centers :)

Not only art, but life and relational skills...

...lots of opportunity for those skills to be built!

  

Spelling, vocabulary and PE (if we count all the laughter!)

 

More PE and health (big doses of Vitamin D!)

 

 Nature journaling the nasty spider out front = science
 
 

Considering I didn't do a lot of Loe's science book work...we managed to work plenty of science in = field trip to local dairy and farm

Let's see...PE, history and socialization!

 

Outreach and cultural awareness

Definitely PE and bible (gotta memorize those verses!)

And even more science at the aquarium. And one of my favorites..Loe conquering the shoe-tying challenge!

We all have learned much this year, so much that we didn't get pictures of...regular book work, family devotions, driver's ed, jobs, church, volunteer work, frisbee, Disney, family, friends, and the list goes on and on. We LOVE homeschooling and I can NOT believe Chase will graduate in a couple of months!! 

A little bit of this and a little bit of that

This is a miscellaneouspost - just a place to post some random photos of the girls. This one above of Ren is too funny. She colored her picture with those fabulous Color Wonder markers (those things were invented for kids like Ren, who color on things they shouldn't - sometimes intentionally and sometimes not even meaning to!) She stood up to show me and was SO proud of herself - one of those moments when I realized she isn't a baby anymore! Loe is just goofing off on the stairs below - but I so adore her smile in that shot - so I had to include that one. Then more of Ren loving on Linus, and flashing her cheesy grin.

 

 

Loe has taken it upon herself to teach Ren some basic ballet moves before she is old enough to startworship dance (a year from now!) It's pretty funny - this day she was doing some karate kicks with Loe one minute and ballet the next! These will be some well-rounded girls!

 

This just melted me - I looked over and this is how the girls were watching a movie. They really are good friends and enjoy each other, but wow do they do their share of bickering. We never had this kind of sibling rivalry with the boys and I'm still getting used to it with the girls. Though I don't suppose I should get used to it - but keep praying for wisdom on how to deal with it! But, thankfully they have plenty of these sweet moments, too.

  

Loe was anxious to look over all of the "Preschool Activities Bags" that I made with a group of women. Obviously as you can tell by the name - they are designed for preschoolers - different activities to keep them busy and learning on their own while mom gets something done - like homeschool the 1st grader - in my case! They are mostly geared to 3-4 year olds - so many are above Ren's head. I wanted to stock up on many different ones for the coming year or two. Ren is one busy kiddo and I figure the more plans I have to keep her hands busy (and out of trouble) the better! But, Loe watched me put some of the stuff together and was excited to see what each activity was all about. So, she gets to enjoy the ones that aren't consumable until Ren is older. She likes to fiddle with stuff like this. She's always been one to keep her hands and mind busy learning and exploring. These are more review and fun for her - but I'm glad she is enjoying them! I look forward to the day when Ren can use them and not eat or bend or tear them! Not that I want to rush the baby girl in growing up one minute - she is too much fun right now! 
 

going on 2

I just ran across these pictures from over the summer. I LOVE having 4 kids and can't begin to imagine life without any one of them. And I truly am so thankful that they are all home with us together. I think there is so much good that can cmoe from having several kids growing up together. That said - the occasional day I get with just Ren has been pretty fun. A chance to enjoy her with my total attention. Last summer Loe went to our church's 3 day VBS and we also had friends invite us to go along to another VBS here in town. Loe had a blast with her friends and I had a blast with Ren! We did all kinds of things together - including a walk around a local park and then wandered over to Starbucks for a snack. I think the baby of the family gets a lot of perks - having plenty of ready hands to hold her, read to her, play with her, etc.. But, sometimes being the baby means your life is really all about your older siblings and it seems you are along for the ride! So, having some time to be the only kid for just a bit now and then is so great. I am getting the same opportunity on Wednesdays during this semester as the 3 big kids are in classes on that day. Today Ren was very excited to play at the office with Daddy for a little while when I was getting a massage. We stopped at Walmart on the way home and even that is an adventure. I am not in a rush - so she stops and explores everything! Takes forever - but it sure is fun to watch her. I get to talk to her a lot more. (I don't worry too much about her missing out on all of that focused vocabulary building time since she does have Eloise for a big sister!)  Speaking of words - this girl is starting to hook a few words together. But, she is also repeating just about everything we say! Some recognizable, some not. But, what a joy to hear her saying all these words! It's just incredible how far these precious little girls come when they are home in a family living and learning and growing together.  

These pictures just made me laugh! The girls were playing something and I can't even remember what now (the danger of not blogging pictures until months later!) but how cute is Ren in those snug capri's and the princess shoes?! Loving it! And that sweet, big sister hand on her back - guiding her along. Looks like Ren is just praising the Lord! I think it was some kind of game - but I do pray that she learns to dance before the Lord and praise His holy name! She gives me a funny look when she seems me dancing around the house in praise. But, this girl is moved by music I catch glimpses now and then of her joining in! I imagine she'll be dancing for joy before long!
 

   

 

 
  
 
  

Becoming good buddies

I continue to be thankful that the girls are becoming friends - and that their friendship is stretching and growing deeper. God is so faithful! Don't get me wrong these two have their moments (sometimes hours!) where I want to stick them to a velcro wall and leave them there a while! Some times Loe can be so frustrated with Ren and impatient with her. But, I tell you - most of the time this girl just flat out amazes me with her patience and giving heart where her sister is concerned. Here are a few pics from the last few days. They play so much together now - what an answer to prayer! Despite their age difference and personality difference.  They pretend to be cooking all kinds of stuff in their kitchen or they'll drag dishes upstairs and make us something special. They play tag and hide-n-seek - so cute - Ren covers her eyes with her little chubby hands and "counts" to maybe 3-4 then zips off to find Loe - who has barely had time to get anywhere. Ren finds her and squeals with delight which makes Loe squeal right along with her. They play dress-up and Loe spends forever helping Ren put this or that on - layer upon layer including the hair.  Loe's favorite thing lately is to fix her own hair and Ren's. This is amazing because Ren is not too fond of having her hair fixed, though she is getting better. A couple times this week I have caught Loe fixing Ren's hair - not just in one pony tail on top - but 2 or 3 around her head! Ren barely says anything while she's doing it. They build very interesting creations together with Kinex or Tinker Toys or blocks. They draw with sidewalk chalk outside. And one day last week when I wasn't feeling very well Loe got a bunch of stuff out onthe table to color and caft. Ren wanted in on that action - so Loe quickly offered to help Ren color in her high chair. (Helps to keep this one confined when she is armed with writing utensils of any kind! They spent over an hour - coloring and talking and Loe helping give Ren a new batch of crayons or more paper or help her peel stickers - over and over and over again. She spent way more time helping Ren then she did working on her own picture. (And she can be one of those people that conquers her projects!) I was in awe, not only of Loe's patience and sweetness with Ren as she encouraged her to draw. But, also with Ren's attention span - staying with one activity for so long! Yay Ren! Gives me hope for our homeschool year and finding ways to keep her occupied!

Yesterday was rather cool and fall-like outside. I haven't dug out any winter clothes or done any shopping yet for fall! So, they had these sweaters in their closet and Loe has been begging to wear hers. It was a good day for sweaters. She was all too happy to help Ren button hers up.

    

 

 

A Seed

I am addicted to blogs - have been for years. It's a peak inside another families' life - some are incredibly gifted writers, photographers, some bring a smile to my face, or challenge me. Dale's blog is one that makes me think. And his last post directed me to this blog.  Please go check it out - today's post is incredibly moving - but the one before that explains a bit about how she arrived in Uganda. I read several posts and then read a few out loud to my guys - or tried to as I struggled through sobbing and tears. God is using this young woman in incredible ways. And I am praying God uses her and this ministry to open the eyes (as she did mine) not only to the needs of the precious children in Uganda, but to seeing what it is like to be sold-out for Jesus - to serve Him at all cost.  I also followed a link on her blog to yet another (see how I can spend too much time on this computer!). This family is waiting to bring home their beautiful son and daughter from Uganda. Adoption. It is a miracle, it is a blessing. Caring for orphans is a calling, it is God's heart -  no question.

James 1:27 - 'Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. 'Psalm 86:6 - 'God sets the lonely in families...'  Let me say from experience that the blessings for us as adoptive parents are as much (if not more!) then what the kids receive being placed in a family.

To be honest we didn't go into adoption with that mindset. We weren't considering growing our family in any way when God spoke to our hearts. Which is why it took Him a good 6 months to get through to both of us! But as soon as we were convinced this was His plan for us - we were on board. We selfishly wanted to bring our girls home (though we had no clue who they were yet!) NOW! All in God's timing...we made the decision to pursue an adoption 6 years ago. We now have two amazing little girls along with our two awesome boys. As we explored the areas we could adopt from - we researched many countries' programs. India, Guatemala, Africa, Korea, Russia, China. We settled on Korea - my hopes were for a young baby and they come home fairly young from Korea. We had friends with a son from Korea - so the process seemed familiar. But, God didn't allow us to proceed until He had us focused on China. He knew our daughters were there. And as I read more and learned more I realized that many of the kids there were in orphanages - with sometimes 30+ kids to a room with 1-2 nannies caring for them. While in Korea the babies are all in foster care and there was a long line of people ahead of us - waiting to adopt. Since we had children, we felt awkward about stepping into line knowing there might be families getting in line behind us who hadn't been blessed with children yet. Somehow, at the time, the China program felt different - the agencies were begging parents to sign up. The need was GREAT for parents to adopt and the process was predictable and smooth and FAST for our first adoption! 1 year from application approval to adoption day in China!

Our second adoption we received many gifts along with a grant - specific to a Chinese adoption. We were thrilled and grateful and in awe of God's provision! The months ticked by and turned to years. As we saw the wait was continuing to grow I began to get impatient and search for another option. I had a vision (not sure if it was directly from God or me!) of either an African/American child (domestic adoption) or a child from Africa joining our family. Zambia had opened up a new program and if we could have switched our grant money to that program we would have done it in a heartbeat! But, we couldn't and so we waited...and waited...and...waited. 3 years after starting Ren's adoption, I traveled to bring her home. No question that she is ours and God knew what He was doing! We just didn't like the wait! Or perhaps He was planting a seed in our hearts.

I don't know if this seed will grow into another adoption story in our family - it might. Trevor and I are both open to whatever God has for us. Some days we feel very busy and "full" as a family and content to imagine that our calling is now to raise up these 4 to God's glory. But, some days I feel a longing, a thought or two that our family is not complete. We will wait on the Lord to see. Perhaps the seed will turn into serious prayer support for other families waiting for their children in Africa  as well as prayer for the children left behind all over the world. Or it will grow into our family being able to help the orphans in a practical way - through donations or mission trips. The boys and I talk frequently about how God might use them. He may call them to a mission field, He may bless them with a bunch of kids to minister to, He may use them to develop close friendships at any workplace in America and His light will shine through them. Are we willing to be used by Him? Wherever He takes us?

I don't know what God's plans are. I watch my boys grow up healthy and strong and loved and have so many options open to them after they graduate. I look at my daughters - who were once orphans - but are no longer. They are loved and cared for and beautiful and strong. They have a family that loves them fiercely. This afternoon I was getting Ren ready for natptime and I admired her precious, chubby legs and arms, I snuggled her while she drank her small bottle - much more for bonding and snuggling then for nutrition. She gets all she needs through 3 meals a day, plus snacks. I watched her doze off..so content, so peaceful. And the contrast to what I read today on Katie's blog is overwhelming.

Father God - direct us, speak to us, help us to hear YOUR voice above our own, above the noise that surrounds us in this culture and society. We long to be your hands and feet. We want to love you, by loving others. Show us your plan - speak, not only to my family, but to the church as a whole. And I pray that we HEAR your voice. Please pour out provision for the people in Africa. Thank you that you know and love every child, every baby, everywhere. Thank you for Katie and so many others like her, who are serving you - both here and across the world. We love you, Jesus - thank-you for loving us first.

pretty little girls!

There is just something about little girls in pretty, feminine dresses. After much prayer and consideration several years ago - Trevor and I came to the conclusion that as much as possible we'd like for our girls to look like...little girls! I committed to at least attempting to dress a bit more femininely and not quite like such a slob all the time - which is what I default to! The styles today can be so frustrating - we don't want our daughters to look like a miniature, inappropriately dressed, 15 year old! I may sound beyond my age to admit this - but the teen fashion today is so far beyond pretty, wholesome and feminine.  Yuck! And while I think there is most definitely a time and place for jeans & a t-shirt or comfy sweats - we have tried to have plenty of girly stuff for the girls to wear. We've been blessed with hand-me-downs off and on since Loe was a baby. The dress she is wearing here is one of them. It reminds me of a 1950's apron - so cute! Ren is wearing a dress I picked up in China. They are light, comfortable cotton dresses - perfect for summertime. Though they are so wiggly and active we insist on shorts, too! I once heard a speaker talk about why his daughters wore only dresses and one of his explanations stuck with me. He mentioned that not only do his daughters feel more like a princess of the King, and a lady, but they are also treated differently in public when dressed in pretty, modest dresses. Men and boys tend to be more gentlemanly around them - more honoring, protective and kind. Gotta love that! Now if we could just get Ren to keep her own shoes on and stop taking all of Loe's!