My Cup Runneth Over

Preparing to expand the family!

I keep saying I will update the blog and then I get caught up with life and school and kids and slapping pics and updates up on facebook and suddenly a month or two have gone by. And I think it's a leftover scrapbooking mentality that makes me want to go back and start putting up posts in chronological order from my last post and not leave anything out. But, that makes me feel overwhelmed so I just end up not blogging at all.

So, I'm just jumping in with a photo from earlier this fall. One we snapped on our way out the door to church (with the help of a tripod and timer!) We needed a recent family photo to send in with our application to our adoption agency in Florida. We have officially started the adoption process with Embraced By Grace, a wonderful agency we feel the Lord led us to as we researched and prayed over the summer. We were able to raise enough money to start our home study at our yard sale. We have continued to sell various items and curriculum along with some donations and we have now completed our home study paperwork, visits, background checks, fingerprinting and all that good stuff through Colorado Adoption Center. They have been wonderful. We thoroughly enjoyed getting to know our new social worker. We imagine that she will be a great resource over the coming years.  Even though we've completed two home studies (and an update or two during our last long adoption!) over the past several years - I still find it very interesting to answer all of these various questions. Questions about our family history, our parenting style, our reasons for adopting and so many more. It causes us to explore our answers, pray about them, really know why we are doing this.

We made it through the various approval steps with Embraced By Grace. Because we are an out-of-state family we attended the orientation via a webinar - early on a Saturday from the comfort of our living room. :) It was so delightful to listen to them share what Embraced By Grace is all about - where their heart is and their hope for the future. As Trevor and I have moved forward with this adoption we feel as though God is not only growing our family and giving a baby a forever family, but also continuing to prepare us for something bigger. We don't know what that is - but our longings in the area of adoption, orphan care, the abortion issue and the hearts of birth moms were echoed in what we heard during the orientation. Our pastor has talked to us about the idea of starting some kind of ministry at our church that will come along side families who are interested in pursuing adoption, but are overwhelmed with the process and the financial aspects of it. So, perhaps that is where God is heading us. Or maybe becoming more involved with His Little Feet. Or mission trips, or even just continuing to be open as people all around us see our family and feel comfortable asking us questions about adoption. We love to share our story, answer questions and encourage others. God has given us the opportunity to do this several times over the years - in person, through emails and phone calls.  We can see how experiencing international and soon a domestic adoption will put us in a position to share even more. Whatever God has for us - we are excited and amazed and grateful!

The past few weeks we havce worked on putting together our Family Profile - which consists of a letter to our potential birth mom along with several pages of pictures and bits of information about us a snapshot of what our family is all about. So, a pregnant mom comes into the agency and is interested in making an adoption plan...if she looks like she might be a good match for our family - EBG will let her look at our family profile - possibly along with some others.  If she is interested in our family, then we'll have an interview with her if she chooses to "meet" us via Skype. If we all feel like it's a good match and she selects us then we figure out all of the details of open (phone calls, visits, etc.), closed or semi-open (sending letters and pictures) adoption. We pray, pray and pray some more for her, for the baby, for the rest of the process. And if God opens up this door - we travel to pick up our new baby when he or she is born and the birth mom has signed the paperwork. It is very surreal to think about becoming parents again. To think of having a newborn in our arms. To think of traveling across the country (instead of around the globe!) to welcome this precious one into our family.

One of the things we love about EBG is that our birth mom will hear the gospel presented at least once if not two or three times! They will develop a relationship with her, help meet her needs or connect her with people who can. We love that. We have been praying for her for months already and are very open and eager to be a blessing in her life if she chooses an open or semi-open adoption. And if she chooses closed we trust that God will still be working in her heart - just as we ask Him to do with our girls' birth parents in China. We will probably never know them and yet our hearts ache to share updates with them. To show them pictures of their beautiful daughters. We long to tell them how amazing and smart and funny they are. We wish we could assure them that they are safe and loved. We can't - but we pray for them and hope that we might meet them in heaven some day. So, the thought of being able to share this information with our little one's birth mom and possibly birth dad is incredible.

As we will soon be in the part of the process where we wait to be matched with a birth mom - we will continue praying for our baby, for his/her birth parents. Attempt to be prepared for this adoption. We will read and talk to people about what it will be like to adopt an African American child and what it will be like for our child to grow up in our family, in our community. We will prepare as best as we can for that experience and attempt to be armed with resources, friends and most importantly with the Lord and His wisdom. With each of our children we have tried to walk with them, prepare them for life as adults. We give them life skills, education and Jesus! We want to find the balance of helping each child through the hard times, the grieving, the questions and doing what we can (or hooking them up with people who can help) with helping them to see that their true identity can be found in Jesus. He has a plan for their lives. He knew their names before the foundations of the world were created. He knew they would be placed in our family and He loves them more then they will ever know. This is true for our birth kids, our girls from China and our next little one who will probably be from Florida or somewhere in the south.

It is such an interesting position to be in. For years we viewed domestic adoption as a competitive, awkward, scary way of growing a family. We would never want to feel like we are competing with another couple over a baby. We have obviously been blessed with children and while we are excited to grow our family, we want to be adopting where there is a need. The statistics reveal that the majority of couples adopting in the US are seeking a white baby (very often a girl), or perhaps they are open to a Hispanic or  Asian child. A few are open to half African American. But, very few seem to be open to full African American babies. We are not only open to that possibility we are eager and anxious to adopt an African American baby! There is such a need for families who are open to full AA - to adopt that some agencies offer a discounted program. So, while we know this part of waiting for a birth mom to choose us will be interesting, possibly trying and filled with emotion. We also trust that God has led us down this path and we know He will work out the details. Unless God blesses us with an unusual amount of money while we are waiting - we will need to be matched with a birthmom who has no medical or living expenses. Just another area to trust Him! We also trust His perfect timing - but we pray and hope that this adoption happens in the next few months rather then years!

Again for those that might have read to the end of this long post - we'd appreciate prayer. Prayer for our birth mom - for the courage to choose life, for wisdom, for physical, emotional and spiritual protection. Prayer for our little one - protection and peace and health. And prayer for our family to be prepared for this adoption. Prayer for continued financial provision. We will need $1,000 when we are matched with a birth mom. And we will need money to travel. Our agency has a plan that helps families with a large portion of the rest of the adoption fees called the Tabitha Fund - which works with the current tax credit. But, these other fees will need to be paid by us and the money isn't there yet! Thanks for reading, for praying and supporting us!

The Cost of Adoption

I do intend to do some catching up on the blog here in the coming weeks...really! But, in the meantime thought I'd share a GREAT blog post about the cost of adoption. For those that are curious and I know we were when we first began to move past the praying-about-it stage into the serious-research stage - seven years ago this month! WOW! Can't believe it's been seven years already.

And as a side note - we also firmly believe that doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called. So if you feel a tugging at your heart in the area of adoption - pray, pray and pray some more. Ask your spouse to pray with you until God gives you both the same answer. With our first, we thought about it and decided if we and others felt alright about taking out a loan for a house, a car or some home improvements...why not an adoption trip?! So, we did and were able to take our 2 boys with us to China the first time. Yeah...we paid on that for a long while and yeah...I wish we would have figured out (or perhaps waited on the Lord!) for another way. But, I am so very glad they went along and gladly make those payments. :)

For Ren's adoption God gave us gifts - large gifts anonymously in the mail. We also received gifts from family and friends and we applied for and received a LARGE grant for our adoption. Sometimes God calls us to adopt and other times He calls us to help others through the process. God provided every penny of the fees and travel for her adoption. Talk about a faith builder! With this adoption God has used our dependency upon Him to confirm His plans to grow our family in this way and remind us that not only will He supply all of our needs financially - but in regards to energy, patience, wisdom and sanity! (Phil 4:19)

We have noticed that each step we take...He provides. We have prayed and prayed and prayed about this and are thrilled to be on a new and exciting adoption journey! We have worked hard at having a huge yard sale which was a kick-off for fundraising. We've sold necklaces and continued to sell items around our house and those that others have donated. We've sold lots of curriculum - and all has gone into our adoption fund. We are working on our budget and saving where we can. And, once again, God has used friends and family to bless us with financial donations. And here we are...home study is almost complete (and paid for!) and we are about to send in our application to our placing agency. One of the HUGE benefits we have going for us (and anyone who is interested in adoption right now) is a $13,000 adoption tax refund. Used to be that we could collect - over a period of 5 years the amount of adoption fees that we had paid...all according to how much we had paid in-for taxes. But, at least for this year and next year - it isn't about how much we pay in - it is a tax refund of just over $13,000 to pay back adoption fees regardless of how much we've paid into taxes. That is HUGE! It's the one and only thing we feel that Obama has done to actually help us out!

So...don't let the cost of adoption discourage you...pray about it - research grants and adoption loans. And see what God will do! He designed adoption! (Eph 1:5) He values life. (Ps. 139:13) He longs to set the lonely in families. (Ps. 68:6)

I love my family

Nope - not perfect. But, I love each one of them so much it hurts sometimes! How did I come to be so blessed by these 5 people? God's grace and prayer...lots and lots and lots of prayer. My folks began praying for my spouse years before I met Trevor. He wasn't quite what they pictured when I first brought him home with earrings and an attitude! But, they love him and are so grateful for him now. I couldn't ask for a better husband and daddy to our kids. Iron sharpens iron and Trevor and I give each other plenty to pray about and allow God to continue working on us and our marriage - but we love each other deeply and are best friends.

My kids...well - I go on and on about them here on the blog, on facebook and to anyone who will listen! They are, each one, a gift. I have always been a fairly  happy person - enjoying childhood years, teenage years. I was thrilled to get married and become Trevor's help meet. But, my joy was multiplied exponentially when Chase was born...I expected to enjoy being a mom - but wasn't prepared for the deep, incredible joy (and in turn all the other emotions that run just as deep in parenting). As each child has been birthed or adopted into our family I truly feel that my cup runneth over. Yes - we are busy, we are loud, we are at times stressed, grumpy, frustrated and impatient with one another. But, most often our joy runs over. Can't wait to have 6 people to love!

African necklaces for sale! (To raise money for our adoption!)

     

To help raise money for our adoption we are selling these beautiful African bead necklaces. They are actually made from recycled magazines! (But, they feel like regular beads) Women in Uganda make them to sell - so buying them gives these women a sustainable income to help support their families. Some of the cost of the necklace goes back towards helping feed children in Africa. And a big bonus - we are able to sell them as a fund raiser for our adoption. Win-win for everyone!

In the picture of Eloise below - she is wearing one necklace (looped 3 times, I wear them looped twice). The necklaces sell for $25. We will have them at our yard/bake sale this weekend if you live close by and want to see them in person. We are also happy to ship them to you.

If you or anyone you know is interested in buying one - please let me know. Feel free to contact us by leaving a comment here on the blog, or by sending me an email at blessedsahm@gmail.com 

  

 

 

 

Family update

I have been SOOO bad about keeping up my blog. Trevor continues to give me a hard time about it. I know it's because facebook is such a quick and easy way to stay in touch with people and post pics. But, it's not at all the journal that a blog can be. So - I will once again attempt to catch up here on the blog in the coming few weeks.

Usually I go back and start where I left off. But, with such exciting news it's too hard to wait on this. 

Knowing we are no where near "done" parenting - ever. We have officially raised our first child from birth through graduation. And most definitely NOT without the Lord's help! What a journey, what a blessing Chase has been. He is currently looking for a summer job (wow even the teens are having a hard time finding work - it's crazy) and has plans (if accepted) to attend Ellerslie training this fall. Then, at this point, he is considering pursuing something in the editing/publishing field. He is passionate reader - so that would be an excellent fit. But, he is open to whatever God has for him. He may head to Aims after Ellerslie to get some general classes out of the way and see where God leads him after that. We are proud of him and super excited to see how God moves in his life.

Hunter following behind him by two years is right in that super-fun teenage time of life. He's about to get his driver's permit and will start his junior year in a few months. He's working part-time at a computer repair shop and while the summer hours are a bit slow - he is thankful for the experience he's getting and even a little extra money right now. He found out today that he was accepted into Lost Marbles Theatrics - a theater group for homeschooled high schoolers. He will attend classes this fall and then take part in a play (either acting or behind the scenes) in the spring. This is a new direction for him. We have watched their past few plays and the group does a great job. He is looking forward to learning some drama skills as well as spending time with current friends and making some new friends.

Eloise is a very chatty, gapped toothed (she finally lost her first two teeth a few weeks ago!) super busy 6 year old. She rarely slows down. She also rarely stops talking! Loe is a natural born learner and organizer. She begs to do more school (dream student!) and loves to organize toys, cabinets - whatever I'll let her! She can be a bit on the bossy side - so we have to keep an eye on the attitude. She loves being a big sister - most of the time. She is mostly patient and has all kinds of fun playing with Ren and teaching her new things. But, we have seen a whole new side to her when she loses her temper or just gets tired of the little sister antics. :) She is finished with 1st grade and excited to move into 2nd grade. 

Ren is 2 and brings out strong emotions in all of us. She is a huge joy and can be a BIG stinker! Whatever mood she is in - she is all there! If she's feeling whiny - oh my word. If she's ornery - watch out. But, if she's ready to play and have fun experiencing new things - what a blast she is. She makes us laugh a lot. She likes to experience life to it's fullest. We love her to pieces and I wouldn't change a thing about her (well - maybe that whole struggle she has with first-time obedience!) But...it's good to have people in your life that keep you on your knees in prayer - right?!

Trevor is busy with work, enjoying playing softball with old friends and still has fun cooking up new recipes and yummy old ones for us. This summer he is working with the boys to teach them some basic cooking skills and how to spice up a meal. (Their wives will LOVE him for that!) With the changes in the government - there is a chance we may be out of work in the coming months (thank-you Obama!). We are praying about that and seeking God's plan for the future. Trusting it's all in His hands.

We are pretty much finished with our school year - finishing a few books and things. And still working on a few things over the summer break. We always attempt to start school up in August so we can take some more time off through out the year. This week is our annual state homeschooling conference. We attend every year. It is a HUGE boost of encouragement, advice and support for our homeschool and our family. We always look forward to going. When the boys turned 13 - they began attending with us. Even though Chase has graduated - we're still going together just to spend the time with them, learning and growing. And there are always plenty of books to browse! Many of the workshops focus on way more then just homeschooling. The girls are looking forward to time with Grandma and Grandpa. Then Saturday we'll hook up with some travel group families at our adoption agency's annual picnic. We're finishing that day off at the Rockie's game.

So...with all of this busyness - what we need is another baby - right?! We are thinking...yes! We are ready and willing to go through the 'door' of another adoption if God opens it for us! So many reasons are involved in coming to this place. The main one being open to another amazing blessing - another baby to love, child to raise and teenager to enjoy. A little over 16 years ago our friends adopted a super cute African-American baby boy who was the same age as Hunter - exactly the same! They shared their birthday! Then a few years later they adopted a baby girl. I was blessed to babysit those kiddos and get to know them. Fast-forward several years and they touched my heart. About a year into our waiting period for Ren's referral (her adoption was a 3 year process) - I felt like God gave me a vision for our family - one with a precious little one who had beautiful dark skin. We even explored shifting that adoption from China to Africa or to a domestic adoption here in the US. But, we had been given a large grant and it was specific to a Chinese adoption. We knew that was God's confirmation that we needed to bring a child home from China - our child! He knew her name before the foundations of the world and He knew she would be placed in our family! So, we waited 2 more years and she came home. The vision I had faded off and on - but never went away completely. Ren was super challenging between 1 and 2 years of age and I remember thinking we would be crazy to add another child in. But...as she continued to grow after 2 (she's still quite the stinker!)  it suddenly seems not so crazy to think about adding a little one into our family.

We are currently exploring a domestic adoption of an African-American baby. (We're all thinking baby boy this time and I'm already working on Trevor - with bold hints about maybe adopting a little boys from Africa in a few years!! But...one thing at a time!) Like many families who feel open to adoption - we feel confident that we have plenty of room in our home and love in our hearts for a baby. But, the fees for an adoption can be overwhelming. Sadly, African-American babies and children are often the hardest to place. So, while this idea of a new baby feels selfish and exciting to us. We also know that God cares for orphans; for children who need families. We know it breaks His heart that millions of babies have been murdered by abortion in our country alone and we would like to offer our family as a realistic option for a birth mom who explores the possibility of choosing life for her baby. There are some grants we can apply for that might be able to help with some of the fees. But, most of those foundations want us to have our home study complete before we apply. So, we are planning to have a big garage/bake sale in July to help raise money for our home study. God has already started blessing us with donations for the sale! He is SOOO amazing!

Would welcome prayer for our family as we embark on this journey. Please pray for God to open doors financially and give us wisdom regarding homestudy agencies, adoption agencies and the timing of all of this. The total cost is estimated at between $15,000-$20,000 for the adoption. God proved Himself faithful and incredible in how He blessed us and provided for Ren's adoption fees. We know He will do that again if He wants us heading down this path.

In the meantime we will pray for our next little one, his birth parents, and all the millions of orphans here and around the world. We pray for the murder of innocent babies to end. We pray for more and more families to be open to being a part of the miracle of adoption - whether that is becoming adoptive families themselves or by supporting others who are adopting. We also plan to continue enjoying the blessings that have been given to us and focus on raising them in the training and admonition of the Lord. Our God is so BIG, so strong and so mighty - there's nothing our God can not do!  (Just saw that song posted on fb and was reminded how much I LOVE it!)

More picture posts (with lots less talking) to come soon.

Hope your summer is off to a fabulous start!

Chinese New Year 2010

Isn't this picture above a crack up? It so captures the girls' personalities! Loe looking semi-innocent and posing and Ren looking very ornery and cute! I snapped these pics of the girls after we got home from our evening out - so I was surprised to get any smiles at all since they were so tired!

 The evening out was our traditional Chinese New Year celebration with friends. We look forward to this event every year - great fellowship, great Chinese food and very cute kids! Loe also looks forward to the occasion- knowing she'll get to hang with friends and wear a pretty Chinese dress! Sadly I think this dress is one of the bigger ones I bought when I was in China with Ren. There might be one more dress or pant outfit that is a bit bigger - I now wish I would have bought a few more for them to grow into! Hmmm...maybe another trip to China?! Ha! Just kidding - we actually have shops and online places we can pick up traditional Chinese clothes.

My how this crew of kids has grown - not only in size, but in number with the addition of new siblings!

 

  
  

     

#689 gathering (1/10)

What started out as quarterly gatherings with the two families here in Colorado from Loe's group have turned into annual or semi-annual visits. We try for one somewhere around Gotcha Day - which was 11/30/04 and we usually see each other sometime during the CCAI picnic each summer. And occasionally an extra visit here and there when additional travel group families are in town. We really do feel as though our travel groups are part of our extended family. And now it barely takes any time at all for the girls to warm up and run off playing together the moment we see one another. It's wonderful! At the gathering closest to our Gotcha Day anniversary we try to bring pictures or videos of our trip - then we sit around reminiscing together. Remembering stories and moments - in awe of how quickly time has gone by since that long awaited moment when each of these precious girls was placed into our arms and families forever. Now the girls are getting old enough that they sometimes want to look at the pictures along with us.

It's hard to believe these girls have all been home over 5 years now. They have all changed so much. They are each so beautiful and fit right into each family - just as God planned it. :)

What fun to look back at a few pics from the past and see how much they have grown!

 Loe, Malenah, Hannah & Ellie - December 2004 a few weeks after we got home from China

 

 
Loe, Ellie and Hannah December 2006

 

Hannah, Loe & Ellie - January 2010

  
 

 
 

Fun with Ren's travel group

Two families from Ren's travel group live in Colorado. When Eric and Margo were in Denver a few weeks ago, we met them along with Dan and Karen. We went to the Aquarium and then had lunch together. It's so funny to watch the girls together. They are all so adorable. Such unique personalities - Meredith is very curious and adventurous, Joie is social and sweet. Margo and I did determine that Ren and Meredith could be dangerous together since they both have a very ornery, stubborn streak in them! We had a great time (even though  both of our girls had colds) and I'm so thankful that Trevor is getting a chance to know some of the group and they - him. Looking forward to next time!

  

 
 
 
 

  
 
 

  
 
 
 
  
  
 

Birthday Girls!

Trevor is giving me a really hard time about not keeping up with the blog and has told me I MUST update it. (I keep telling him to get on facebook - I post so much more regularly there!) So, here is the first of a few posts I'll try to the rest tomorrow.

Sadly - Ren was sick on her birthday this year. She was a trooper though and we still went out to pick up her birthday gift and went to McDonald's ( fries and chicken nuggets are her favorite and she loudly yelled "FRIES" when we walked in the door!). She loves her new car and was very anxious to help Dad put it together! She also got a new stroller (since she and Loe tend to fight over the other one!) Of course it was her bear that took the first ride in it. :)

Can't believe our baby girl is two already! Renice QingYang is changing and growing up so fast. What fun it is to be around our kids at this age - listening to them say new words and catching a glimpse of what is going on in their head! Watching them explore the world around them - soaking up information like a sponge. Ren has a very strong personality - making parenting her a bit more challenging at this stage! She's determined, stubborn, ornery, at bit defiant and yet has a very tender, lovable, sweet side along with a great sense of humor! We love her to pieces and pray that the Lord would give her birth parents a peace about where their baby girl is and how she is doing. She keeps me on my knees in prayer for wisdom and patience but we are blessed in abundance by having her in our lives. I can't wait to see what God has in store for our sweet petunia!

 

Just a few weeks after Ren turned two, Eloise turned six! WOW - what the heck happened to our tiny, baby girl? It never ceases to amaze me the changes she has undergone since we brought her home 5 years ago. She is social, sweet, talkative, bossy, bright, talkative, eager to learn, clever and did I mention talkative? :) For her birthday she got to pick out her dinner and dessert - she chose Trevor's burgers, fries and homemade milkshakes - strawberry cheese cake and chocolate flavored - oh yum!

She received a new outfit for the doll some friends gave to her and Season One of Little House on the Prairie! She was SO excited about that! She watched one after another the following week. (Fun for me, as well, since I watched a ton of those when I was younger.) Watching her become a big girl - loving 1st grade, being a big sister, organizing things around her, learning to read more fluently - we sit back and wonder just what God has planned for Eloise HuanFen's future. Whatever it is we thank God she is in our lives!

  

going on 2

I just ran across these pictures from over the summer. I LOVE having 4 kids and can't begin to imagine life without any one of them. And I truly am so thankful that they are all home with us together. I think there is so much good that can cmoe from having several kids growing up together. That said - the occasional day I get with just Ren has been pretty fun. A chance to enjoy her with my total attention. Last summer Loe went to our church's 3 day VBS and we also had friends invite us to go along to another VBS here in town. Loe had a blast with her friends and I had a blast with Ren! We did all kinds of things together - including a walk around a local park and then wandered over to Starbucks for a snack. I think the baby of the family gets a lot of perks - having plenty of ready hands to hold her, read to her, play with her, etc.. But, sometimes being the baby means your life is really all about your older siblings and it seems you are along for the ride! So, having some time to be the only kid for just a bit now and then is so great. I am getting the same opportunity on Wednesdays during this semester as the 3 big kids are in classes on that day. Today Ren was very excited to play at the office with Daddy for a little while when I was getting a massage. We stopped at Walmart on the way home and even that is an adventure. I am not in a rush - so she stops and explores everything! Takes forever - but it sure is fun to watch her. I get to talk to her a lot more. (I don't worry too much about her missing out on all of that focused vocabulary building time since she does have Eloise for a big sister!)  Speaking of words - this girl is starting to hook a few words together. But, she is also repeating just about everything we say! Some recognizable, some not. But, what a joy to hear her saying all these words! It's just incredible how far these precious little girls come when they are home in a family living and learning and growing together.  

These pictures just made me laugh! The girls were playing something and I can't even remember what now (the danger of not blogging pictures until months later!) but how cute is Ren in those snug capri's and the princess shoes?! Loving it! And that sweet, big sister hand on her back - guiding her along. Looks like Ren is just praising the Lord! I think it was some kind of game - but I do pray that she learns to dance before the Lord and praise His holy name! She gives me a funny look when she seems me dancing around the house in praise. But, this girl is moved by music I catch glimpses now and then of her joining in! I imagine she'll be dancing for joy before long!