Preparing to expand the family!

I keep saying I will update the blog and then I get caught up with life and school and kids and slapping pics and updates up on facebook and suddenly a month or two have gone by. And I think it's a leftover scrapbooking mentality that makes me want to go back and start putting up posts in chronological order from my last post and not leave anything out. But, that makes me feel overwhelmed so I just end up not blogging at all.

So, I'm just jumping in with a photo from earlier this fall. One we snapped on our way out the door to church (with the help of a tripod and timer!) We needed a recent family photo to send in with our application to our adoption agency in Florida. We have officially started the adoption process with Embraced By Grace, a wonderful agency we feel the Lord led us to as we researched and prayed over the summer. We were able to raise enough money to start our home study at our yard sale. We have continued to sell various items and curriculum along with some donations and we have now completed our home study paperwork, visits, background checks, fingerprinting and all that good stuff through Colorado Adoption Center. They have been wonderful. We thoroughly enjoyed getting to know our new social worker. We imagine that she will be a great resource over the coming years.  Even though we've completed two home studies (and an update or two during our last long adoption!) over the past several years - I still find it very interesting to answer all of these various questions. Questions about our family history, our parenting style, our reasons for adopting and so many more. It causes us to explore our answers, pray about them, really know why we are doing this.

We made it through the various approval steps with Embraced By Grace. Because we are an out-of-state family we attended the orientation via a webinar - early on a Saturday from the comfort of our living room. :) It was so delightful to listen to them share what Embraced By Grace is all about - where their heart is and their hope for the future. As Trevor and I have moved forward with this adoption we feel as though God is not only growing our family and giving a baby a forever family, but also continuing to prepare us for something bigger. We don't know what that is - but our longings in the area of adoption, orphan care, the abortion issue and the hearts of birth moms were echoed in what we heard during the orientation. Our pastor has talked to us about the idea of starting some kind of ministry at our church that will come along side families who are interested in pursuing adoption, but are overwhelmed with the process and the financial aspects of it. So, perhaps that is where God is heading us. Or maybe becoming more involved with His Little Feet. Or mission trips, or even just continuing to be open as people all around us see our family and feel comfortable asking us questions about adoption. We love to share our story, answer questions and encourage others. God has given us the opportunity to do this several times over the years - in person, through emails and phone calls.  We can see how experiencing international and soon a domestic adoption will put us in a position to share even more. Whatever God has for us - we are excited and amazed and grateful!

The past few weeks we havce worked on putting together our Family Profile - which consists of a letter to our potential birth mom along with several pages of pictures and bits of information about us a snapshot of what our family is all about. So, a pregnant mom comes into the agency and is interested in making an adoption plan...if she looks like she might be a good match for our family - EBG will let her look at our family profile - possibly along with some others.  If she is interested in our family, then we'll have an interview with her if she chooses to "meet" us via Skype. If we all feel like it's a good match and she selects us then we figure out all of the details of open (phone calls, visits, etc.), closed or semi-open (sending letters and pictures) adoption. We pray, pray and pray some more for her, for the baby, for the rest of the process. And if God opens up this door - we travel to pick up our new baby when he or she is born and the birth mom has signed the paperwork. It is very surreal to think about becoming parents again. To think of having a newborn in our arms. To think of traveling across the country (instead of around the globe!) to welcome this precious one into our family.

One of the things we love about EBG is that our birth mom will hear the gospel presented at least once if not two or three times! They will develop a relationship with her, help meet her needs or connect her with people who can. We love that. We have been praying for her for months already and are very open and eager to be a blessing in her life if she chooses an open or semi-open adoption. And if she chooses closed we trust that God will still be working in her heart - just as we ask Him to do with our girls' birth parents in China. We will probably never know them and yet our hearts ache to share updates with them. To show them pictures of their beautiful daughters. We long to tell them how amazing and smart and funny they are. We wish we could assure them that they are safe and loved. We can't - but we pray for them and hope that we might meet them in heaven some day. So, the thought of being able to share this information with our little one's birth mom and possibly birth dad is incredible.

As we will soon be in the part of the process where we wait to be matched with a birth mom - we will continue praying for our baby, for his/her birth parents. Attempt to be prepared for this adoption. We will read and talk to people about what it will be like to adopt an African American child and what it will be like for our child to grow up in our family, in our community. We will prepare as best as we can for that experience and attempt to be armed with resources, friends and most importantly with the Lord and His wisdom. With each of our children we have tried to walk with them, prepare them for life as adults. We give them life skills, education and Jesus! We want to find the balance of helping each child through the hard times, the grieving, the questions and doing what we can (or hooking them up with people who can help) with helping them to see that their true identity can be found in Jesus. He has a plan for their lives. He knew their names before the foundations of the world were created. He knew they would be placed in our family and He loves them more then they will ever know. This is true for our birth kids, our girls from China and our next little one who will probably be from Florida or somewhere in the south.

It is such an interesting position to be in. For years we viewed domestic adoption as a competitive, awkward, scary way of growing a family. We would never want to feel like we are competing with another couple over a baby. We have obviously been blessed with children and while we are excited to grow our family, we want to be adopting where there is a need. The statistics reveal that the majority of couples adopting in the US are seeking a white baby (very often a girl), or perhaps they are open to a Hispanic or  Asian child. A few are open to half African American. But, very few seem to be open to full African American babies. We are not only open to that possibility we are eager and anxious to adopt an African American baby! There is such a need for families who are open to full AA - to adopt that some agencies offer a discounted program. So, while we know this part of waiting for a birth mom to choose us will be interesting, possibly trying and filled with emotion. We also trust that God has led us down this path and we know He will work out the details. Unless God blesses us with an unusual amount of money while we are waiting - we will need to be matched with a birthmom who has no medical or living expenses. Just another area to trust Him! We also trust His perfect timing - but we pray and hope that this adoption happens in the next few months rather then years!

Again for those that might have read to the end of this long post - we'd appreciate prayer. Prayer for our birth mom - for the courage to choose life, for wisdom, for physical, emotional and spiritual protection. Prayer for our little one - protection and peace and health. And prayer for our family to be prepared for this adoption. Prayer for continued financial provision. We will need $1,000 when we are matched with a birth mom. And we will need money to travel. Our agency has a plan that helps families with a large portion of the rest of the adoption fees called the Tabitha Fund - which works with the current tax credit. But, these other fees will need to be paid by us and the money isn't there yet! Thanks for reading, for praying and supporting us!

Comments

[Toniya]

Congratulations guys!! I'm so excited for you and will keep you all in my prayers.....

[Lisa]

Thank-you!!